The Power of Hero Spotting: Recognizing the Heros Around Us

As we navigate life's challenges, we can find ourselves focused on the obstacles ahead. Whether it’s the stress of parenting, the struggles of managing daily responsibilities, or the ups and downs of our teenage girls’ journeys, it’s easy to feel weighed down by the difficulties we face. But what if we started looking for the heroes around us instead of focusing solely on the challenges?

Hero spotting—a concept I explore in Meant For More—is about recognizing the everyday heroes who show up in our lives in big and small ways. It’s about seeing the people, moments, and qualities that inspire us to rise above adversity and move forward with strength and courage. Hero spotting doesn’t just apply to others; it’s about spotting the hero within ourselves and our daughters, too.

What is Hero Spotting?

At its core, hero spotting involves looking for helpers who make a positive impact, even amid life’s struggles. It’s about recognizing that heroism doesn’t always involve grand, sweeping acts of bravery. Sometimes, heroism is found in the quiet moments of resilience, kindness, and perseverance.

As moms, hero-spotting can help us shift our focus from our difficulties to the sources of strength around us. These might be a close friend who always lends a listening ear, a mentor who helps guide us through tough decisions, or even our own ability to keep going when life gets hard. By hero-spotting, we learn to recognize the strength in others—and in ourselves—that often goes unnoticed.

Why Hero Spotting is Important for Moms and Teens

As moms, we are often our daughters’ primary role models. How we handle challenges directly influences how they approach their own struggles. When we practice hero spotting, we teach our teens to do the same—to seek out the sources of inspiration in their lives and recognize the heroes around them.

For our teenage girls, adolescence can be an overwhelming time. They are navigating their identities, relationships, and emotions while figuring out where they fit in the world. By hero spotting, they learn to look beyond their challenges and see the strength and bravery in both their internal and external worlds.

This is especially important in today’s culture, where social media often emphasizes comparison, perfection, and unattainable standards. By teaching our daughters to spot the heroes around them—whether it’s their friends, family members, or even public figures who inspire them—we help them build a mindset focused on growth, resilience, and the belief that they, too, can be heroes in their own right.

Hero Spotting in Action

One of the most empowering aspects of hero spotting is how it helps us recognize the heroes in our lives and the heroic qualities we already possess. It’s easy to get caught up in a self-doubt cycle or feel overwhelmed by challenges. But when we take the time to spot the heroes around us, we remind ourselves that we are part of something much bigger than our struggles.

So, what does hero spotting look like in practice? Here are a few ways to incorporate it into your daily life:

• Recognize Everyday Heroes: Take time to acknowledge the people in your life who show up for you, who make a difference in your life, or who simply provide a source of encouragement. These could be family members, friends, coworkers, or even strangers who inspire you through their actions. Acknowledge their impact, and let them know you see their heroism.

• Spot the Hero Within: It’s easy to overlook our own strengths, but when we take a moment to reflect, we can spot the hero within ourselves. Whether it’s our ability to stay calm in a crisis, our dedication to our families, or our willingness to learn from our mistakes, we all have heroic qualities. Recognizing these within ourselves empowers us to face future challenges with confidence.

• Encourage Your Teen to Spot Heroes: Help your daughter recognize the strength in others and within herself. When she faces difficulties, ask her to think about the heroes in her life—who she can turn to for support, who inspires her, and what qualities she admires in others. This practice not only builds her resilience but also helps her develop a sense of gratitude for the people who help her along the way.

• Celebrate Heroic Moments: Take time to celebrate the small, heroic moments. These might be moments where you or your teen faced a challenge head-on or when a friend or loved one showed up in a big way. Whether it’s a text of support, a kind gesture, or the courage to speak up, celebrate these moments to reinforce the idea that heroism isn’t always about grand gestures—it’s about showing up with strength, compassion, and courage.

The Ripple Effect of Hero Spotting

When we practice hero spotting, it has a ripple effect. The more we recognize and celebrate the heroes around us, the more we encourage those heroic qualities in ourselves and others. Hero spotting doesn’t just help us find strength in challenging times—it helps us build a culture of support, resilience, and growth.

This practice can be life-changing for our daughters. As they begin to see the heroes in their own lives, they start to internalize the belief that they, too, can be heroes. This mindset empowers them to face challenges with a sense of hope and possibility, knowing that they have the strength to overcome obstacles and make a positive impact on the world around them.

In Conclusion

Hero spotting is a simple yet powerful practice that can transform the way we approach challenges, relationships, and even ourselves. By recognizing the heroes in our lives, we learn to see strength and resilience where we may have once seen only difficulty. We become more aware of the support systems around us, and we learn to celebrate the quiet heroism that exists in everyday moments.

As we teach our daughters to spot the heroes around them—and the hero within—they begin to build a mindset of growth, confidence, and empowerment. And by doing so, we create a world where heroism isn’t a rare or extraordinary thing; it’s a part of who we are, and it’s something we all can embrace.

The Power of Community: Why It’s Essential for Moms and Teens Alike

As a mom of a teenage girl, you’ve probably experienced the ups and downs that come with navigating this critical stage in her life. The challenges are real, from helping her build confidence to managing the complex emotions of adolescence. However, one of the most important resources we have in this journey is the power of community.

Community is more than just a group of people; it’s a space where we feel supported, understood, and connected. For us as moms and for our teenage girls, it’s essential to have a community where we can lean on others, share experiences, and feel empowered to face the challenges ahead.

The Importance of Belonging

At its core, community offers a sense of belonging. When we belong to a group—whether it’s other moms, mentors, or supportive friends—it gives us the strength to face adversity. It’s so easy to feel isolated, especially when dealing with the pressures of parenting a teenager and managing our busy lives. But community reminds us that we’re not alone.

The need for belonging is even more critical for our daughters. Adolescence is a time of change, self-discovery, and sometimes confusion. A supportive community helps them feel seen, heard, and valued. It offers them a place to explore who they are without fear of judgment, knowing they have people around them who care.

Fostering Connection Over Comparison

In today’s digital age, it's easy to get trapped in the comparison cycle. Our teenage girls are bombarded with images and stories that often set unrealistic standards, leading to insecurity and self-doubt. As a mom, it’s easy to feel that same pressure. However, community provides a counterbalance to this constant comparison.

When we’re surrounded by people who encourage each other rather than compete, we shift the focus from comparison to connection. We can show our teens that real growth happens when we lift each other up, not when we tear others down. In this spirit of support, our daughters learn to thrive—not by measuring themselves against others but by embracing their unique journey.

Learning From Shared Experiences

One of the greatest gifts that a community offers is the opportunity to learn from others’ experiences. As moms, we know there’s no “one-size-fits-all” guide to raising a teenage girl. What works for one family might not work for another. But by connecting with others who are going through similar experiences, we can share strategies, tips, and even just a word of encouragement when we need it most.

Similarly, your teen can learn a lot from others in a supportive community. Whether it’s a group of friends, a youth organization, or a school club, having a place where they can hear different perspectives and share their challenges helps them feel more confident in navigating the world around them.

The Role of Positive Role Models

In a strong community, role models can make a lasting impact. For moms and teens, access to people who exemplify qualities like resilience, empathy, and self-confidence can be a powerful motivator. These role models show us that we don’t have to be perfect to be successful—we just have to keep showing up, learning, and growing.

Our teens need to see other people who have overcome challenges and who model healthy behaviors and self-compassion. These mentors—whether older teens, teachers, coaches, or even other moms—can offer invaluable wisdom and guidance that helps our daughters feel more equipped to face their challenges.

Creating Your Own Supportive Network

If you feel like you don’t have a supportive community, it’s never too late to build one. Start small by contacting other moms in your neighborhood, joining online groups that share your values, or volunteering for school events. The more we put ourselves out there, the more we attract the right people who will lift us up and help us thrive.

Encourage your teen to join groups or clubs that align with their interests. Whether it’s a sports team, a book club, or a volunteer organization, having a group of like-minded peers will help them feel empowered, connected, and less isolated in their journey.

In Conclusion

Community is one of the most important sources of support, strength, and growth—both for us as moms and for our teenage girls. It gives us the confidence to face challenges, knowing that we have others beside us who care and understand. By fostering these connections, we teach our daughters that they don’t have to do it alone. And as we build stronger communities, we create spaces where everyone can thrive.

In the end, it’s not about being perfect. It’s about showing up for each other, learning from each other, and creating a circle of support that empowers us to be the best versions of ourselves. And that, more than anything, is what truly makes a difference in our lives and the lives of our teens.

The Power of Self-Talk: How to Transform Your Inner Dialogue

As moms, we are no strangers to the challenges of raising a teenage girl. From navigating the emotional ups and downs to helping them build confidence, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. But one of the most transformative tools we have—both for ourselves and for our daughters—is the power of self-talk.

Self-talk refers to the inner dialogue we have with ourselves, whether it’s encouraging, critical, supportive, or negative. It shapes the way we see the world, approach challenges, and, most importantly, view ourselves. How we talk to ourselves can either empower us or hold us back. The same goes for our daughters.

Why Self-Talk Matters

Our thoughts are incredibly powerful. What we think shapes how we feel, and how we feel determines how we act. Negative self-talk can lead to a cycle of self-doubt, insecurity, and fear, which can leave us—and our teens—feeling stuck and powerless. But positive, affirming self-talk can help us develop a growth mindset, increase our resilience, and improve our overall well-being.

Self-talk is even more crucial for our teenage girls. Adolescence is a time of intense self-discovery and change, and many teens struggle with negative thoughts about their abilities, appearance, and place in the world. The way they speak to themselves in these formative years can have a lasting impact on their confidence, relationships, and future success.

Breaking the Cycle of Negative Self-Talk

One of the most important things we can do, both for ourselves and for our teens, is to become aware of our self-talk. It’s easy to fall into a pattern of self-criticism, especially when life gets tough. But when we begin to notice the negative messages we tell ourselves, we can start to challenge them.

If we’re constantly telling ourselves, “I’m not good enough,” “I can’t handle this,” or “I’ll never be successful,” these beliefs start to shape our reality. But if we replace those messages with more empowering statements like, “I’m doing the best I can,” “I’m capable of growth,” or “I can learn from my mistakes,” we can begin to shift our mindset and take positive action.

It’s important for our daughters to recognize when their inner dialogue is negative and teach them how to replace those thoughts with more supportive ones. This is not about ignoring challenges or pretending everything is perfect, but rather reframing those thoughts in a way that promotes growth and resilience.

The Role of Self-Talk in Building Confidence

Self-talk is one of the most powerful tools we can use to build and maintain confidence. Confidence isn’t about being perfect or having all the answers—it’s about believing in ourselves, trusting that we can handle whatever comes our way, and knowing that we’re worthy of success and happiness.

For many of us, confidence starts with how we talk to ourselves. When we speak kindly and encouragingly to ourselves, we build the inner strength to face challenges with a positive mindset. Instead of seeing obstacles as threats, we can view them as opportunities for growth.

We can also teach our daughters this. Helping them build confidence starts with changing the way they speak to themselves. Encourage them to replace thoughts like “I’m terrible at this” with “I may not be great yet, but I’m learning and improving every day.” This shift in thinking helps them develop a growth mindset—a mindset that will serve them throughout their lives.

Using Self-Talk to Overcome Challenges

Life is full of challenges, and both we and our teens will face setbacks along the way. But one of the most important things we can do during those tough times is to pay attention to our self-talk. In moments of stress, it’s easy to default to negative thoughts like “I’m never going to get through this” or “I can’t do it.” But these kinds of thoughts don’t help us move forward.

Instead, we can use self-talk to reframe the situation in a way that empowers us. When faced with a challenge, we might say, “This is tough, but I have the strength to handle it” or “I may struggle, but I can learn from this experience and grow.” By shifting our language, we change our perspective and open ourselves up to solutions, resilience, and growth.

Teaching Our Daughters the Power of Positive Self-Talk

As moms, we are our daughters' first role models. The way we speak to ourselves often sets the tone for how they speak to themselves. If we model positive self-talk and resilience, our daughters are more likely to adopt those same habits. But it’s also important to teach them the skills to reframe their negative thoughts and replace them with more empowering ones.

Encourage your teen to be kind to herself, especially when she’s feeling down or facing challenges. Help her recognize when her self-talk is unkind or overly critical, and guide her in reframing those thoughts into something more supportive. It might feel awkward at first, but with practice, positive self-talk can become second nature.

In Conclusion

The way we speak to ourselves matters. It shapes our beliefs, our behaviors, and ultimately, the life we create. By practicing positive self-talk and teaching our daughters to do the same, we empower them to build confidence, overcome obstacles, and embrace a mindset of growth.

So, next time you or your daughter face a challenge, take a moment to check in with your inner dialogue. Is it supportive and encouraging? Or is it full of self-doubt? With just a small shift in how we talk to ourselves, we can start to create a more resilient, confident, and empowered life.

I Cleaned My Teenager's Room. *Gasp*

As parents, we want the best for our teens. We want them to grow into responsible, independent adults who can thrive in the world. But in the process, it’s easy to forget the enormous pressures they’re under. Between school, sports, social circles, part-time jobs, and the ever-growing expectations to excel at everything, today’s teens are juggling more than we often realize.

Take a moment to imagine it from their perspective: They’re supposed to ace every test, win every game, be a model friend and sibling, all while keeping their rooms spotless and their attitudes in check. Sound familiar? It’s no wonder our teens sometimes seem overwhelmed or stressed out.

Here’s the thing—our kids want to succeed. They want to make us proud, but sometimes they don’t know how to ask for help when they’re struggling. As parents, we might add to the pressure by focusing on what still needs to be done, forgetting that a little grace can go a long way.

I know how easy it is to get wrapped up in making sure our kids learn all the “right” lessons: responsibility, independence, time management, and resilience. But sometimes, we overlook teaching one of the most critical lessons of all—it’s okay to ask for help when you’re overwhelmed.

Think about it: when we’re busy and stressed, we lean on our own support systems—whether that’s asking a friend for a favor, asking grandparents to step in, or hiring someone to help around the house. Our teens deserve to know it’s okay for them to ask for help, too. According to research, asking for help when we’re overwhelmed is a vital component of building resilience. It’s not just about fostering independence but also about understanding the strength found in community.

Recently, my daughter had an incredibly hectic week. Her room got messy, and instead of nagging her about it, I cleaned it for her. Why? Because I want her to know she can count on me when life gets overwhelming. Now, she can head into another busy week with a clear space to relax and recharge.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting we shield them from every challenge. Busy seasons are perfect opportunities to teach essential life skills like planning ahead, saying no, or preparing for what’s to come. But they also give us the chance to teach them self-compassion—to show them that it’s okay to ask for help when things get too hectic.

I’d love to hear from you: Would you, or have you ever, helped out when your teen is swamped? Maybe you cleaned their room or took on one of their chores. What lessons do you teach your teen during these busy seasons, and how do you support them through it?

Let’s share our ideas and support each other—because, at the end of the day, we’re all just trying to raise healthy, happy teens who know it’s okay to lean on their community when life gets tough.

(Image: AI generated image of a messy room)

Big Goals, Small Steps...

Big Goals, Small Steps, and Lessons Along the Way

I’m training for an event called Rim2Rim, where I’ll hike down the South rim of the Grand Canyon, across the bottom, and up to the top of the North rim for a total of 22 miles, with an elevation gain that I cannot even fathom. As a sweet little treat, there’s a 2 mile walk to the parking lot at the end. Believe me, I’m counting those last two miles too!

The confidence gained in the ability to do hard things translates into every area of life. The sense of accomplishment, self-trust developed, relationships, and lessons learned along the way are priceless.

In preparing for these big goals, I’ve noticed some lessons that apply to all big goals. No matter the goal you’re going after right now, keep reading! I hope you’ll find encouragement, motivation, and camaraderie as you tackle your own big goal.

Once you’ve set your goal, broken it down into smaller steps, and begin taking action towards accomplishing it, keep these lessons in mind.

People along the way

You will cross paths with other people along the way, but don’t compare yourself to anyone. You know where you’re going, and it could be farther, steeper, and more challenging, therefore, your pace could be slower than someone else’s. Stay focused on your goal, and stick to your pace.

Enjoy the journey

Don’t forget to enjoy the view, notice the small things and be grateful.

Community

When you mention training for an endurance event, or going after your big goal, usually people who haven’t done something similar, respond with “that sounds crazy!” Hopefully, family, friends, and acquaintances will cheer for you, support you and wish you the best. However, finding a community of people who have done or are pursuing similar goals, will help you in unimaginable ways. You can find camaraderie, troubleshooting advice, and words of encouragement when you’re struggling. Networking groups, running clubs and personal trainers are a few ideas of ways to find your community and/or provide additional support in reaching your goals.    

Prepare to be alone

Even with a community, you’ll discover a lot of the work is done alone. When you’re taking those small steps in the beginning, at the bottom of the path where it’s flat and less challenging, there are more people. The further along you get and the longer, harder and steeper the path gets, you will encounter fewer people. You may work/train late nights, early mornings and long hours. You might be alone. A lot. But, being alone is not the same as being lonely. Remember your goal and why you’re doing this. It will be hard, but it will be worth it.

Going beyond your comfort zone

Change and pushing out of your comfort zone will be uncomfortable. So don’t deal with additional unnecessary discomfort. Plan ahead to make sure you have what you need to begin working toward your goal. Using hiking as an example, making sure you have the correct shoes, hydration pack, nutrition, and hiking poles and so forth will make the uncomfortable miles a little less uncomfortable. Find out what you need to make the path to you goals a little easier.

Take care of yourself

When you’re pursuing personal growth and big goals, its especially important to make sure you’re taking care of yourself. Find a way to relax, like getting a massage, going for a drive and listening to your favorite songs, find a quiet place to enjoy your favorite treat. Refuel by spending time in nature or visiting an encouraging friend, maybe in nature! Stay hydrated by drinking enough water and eat healthy foods that give you energy. Self-care comes in many forms, these are just a few ideas.

What about you? Are you pursuing your big goal? If so, what have you learned along the way? I’d love to hear from you!

Mechelle

Do It Now

Several years ago I had a client who told me she and her adult daughter go on a trip together every year. It sounded like a fun idea to get away and spend some quality time with my daughter too.

She was 8 at the time, and I told her that when she became an adult we would go on mother-daughter trips together. She was excited at the idea, but then she paused and asked, “why do we have to wait until I’m an adult?”

I thought about it for about half a second before I realized, we don’t need to wait. We can do it now!

I’m so glad she had the thought of not waiting, that she spoke her thought, and that I changed my mind about how this would work for us.

Because, we just got back from our 5th annual mother-daughter trip and the memories we’ve made over the years are absolutely priceless. Getting away from school, homework, extra-curricular activities, work, and day-to-day responsibilities gives us time to really focus on our relationship.

Taking on the huge job of writing my book, due to be published in 2023, was so scary! Did you know I am not a writer?! But, the message is important and I hope it will help so many lives. So, I’m doing it.

Honestly, simply making the decision to write it and beginning the process has really forced me to embrace the saying, “done is better than perfect.” Because I know it won’t be perfect! And that has led me to do even more things that I would have waited and waited to do.

For example, I just published a 2023 yearly planner focused on mindset. It was so much work and it was so hard for me! I’m not the most tech savvy person so formatting and designing it was difficult for me. But, I knew what I wanted it to look like and I figured it out and got it done. I’m thrilled at how it turned out and will be making one every year along with other things to help develop mindset, like journals.

Can you relate? Is there something in your life that you’ve been planning to do later that you can actually do now?

Are there things that you want to do but you’re waiting:

• for the right time

• to feel prepared

• until you know more

• until next year

• any other excuse or reason

Stop and think, can you do it now?

It might be scary. You might makes mistakes. You might fail.

Do it anyway. Do it now.

I know you can!

*photo from our latest mother-daughter trip; the Muir Woods in California.

Hindsight is 20/20?

Recently my daughter needed to have a sports physical for school which included an eye exam. She was told she has 20/20 vision in one eye and 20/15 in the other to which the doctor exclaimed, “that’s even better than 20/20!”

I didn’t believe them at first, because for my entire life I’ve heard that 20/20 is perfect vision and if 20/20 is perfect could there be anything better? Apparently, yes. We go around saying, “hindsight is 20/20” when we can see more clearly after an event.

So, I’ve been contemplating, how many of our thoughts and beliefs are incorrect, incomplete, or even obsolete?

Our willingness to accept new, complete, and updated information is part of having a Growth Mindset. Whereas holding onto our thoughts and beliefs and dismissing the facts laid out before us is a Fixed Mindset.

Why do human beings sometimes hold onto these thoughts and beliefs? Here are just a few reasons:

1. Sunk-cost Fallacy: occurs when we are unable to cut our losses due to the past money or time we have spent on an activity; (and I would add thought or belief.)

2. Belief Perseverance: the tendency to cling to one's initial belief even after receiving new information that contradicts or disconfirms the basis of that belief.

3. Power Dynamic: for example, we don’t like our annoying neighbor and therefore will never believe anything they say; or believing our parents don’t know anything; or believing that we are the parent and therefore we are correct.

But guess what, acknowledging we don't know, or indeed need to know everything about something before attempting it is liberating. Letting go of the need for perfection is liberating. Because now we can do the thing we’ve been waiting to do until we know everything about it and it’s perfectly ready to launch.

What have you been waiting to do or create? How can doing it now instead of continuing to wait change your life?

Maybe it’s writing a book, opening a business, becoming an artist or learning a new hobby.

Go for it! Do it now! You can change your mindset by being willing to learn new things, ask questions, try, fail, and try again, and again. Doing so will move you closer and closer to the life you want. So yeah, do it now!

Let’s let hindsight have that pesky 20/20 vision. Right now, today, in this moment let’s use our 20/15 vision to take action and design the life we want, shall we?

Morning Motivation

Sometimes it’s difficult to believe in yourself. You can get stuck in the season you’re in and forget how strong and capable you actually are. That’s when you could use a little reminder of what you’ve been through, what you’ve achieved, and that you can get through this too.

A friend shared something with me a while back that he called his morning motivation, and it’s perfect for times like this when you feel stuck, helpless, and hopeless.

Take some time to reflect on your mind, body, and spirit. Remember what you’ve overcome. Remember what motivates you, what inspires you, what makes you feel alive and thankful.

Write it all down and read it everyday if you want.

I’m sharing mine below. Use it as an example and get to work writing yours. Tag me on Instagram to let me know you’ve done it and let me know how it’s helping you.

You’ve got this! I believe in you!

Mechelle

——-

Mind

I am strong, positive, and motivated. I notice and enjoy the beauty in everyday and in every detail. I am thankful and grateful for my life, my family, my friends, and my ability to work for the lifestyle I want and need. I get it done! I set goals, plans, and dreams and I work hard to achieve them.

I nourish my mind by seeking knowledge and understanding. I stay sharp by talking to other motivated individuals who inspire me.

Body

I am strong. My body is capable of doing amazing things and gives me the ability to keep up with my daughter, family and friends. It allows me to work in a physically demanding business to support myself and my family. I nourish my body with healthy food, exercise, water, and rest to stay healthy.

Spirit

I have been though dark, evil, and terrifying trauma in my life, and I have emerged with a spirit of extreme strength. I have a spark, a light, and an energy that shines and I hope it gives positivity and motivation to everyone I meet.

Having been through hell and knowing the strength and determination it takes to climb out, I have little tolerance for mediocrity and excuses. I surround myself with positive, motivated people who strengthen me instead of drain me. I truly believe the saying, “if you don’t like where you are, move. You are not a tree.”